Demeter Envisions Fall: Waning Moon 1      

The long-awaited springtime child, Kore,

has returned with her child newborn,

and become the mother, Demeter.

Then where am I, demented ghost of last year’s Demeter?

And what am I, this empty shell?

I have been searching for my daughter,

and she is found, and has no need of me.

Searching has become my goal.

What can I search for now?

What have I lost? I am lost!

The self I left my mother to express,

the self I lost my innocence to explore,

has been consumed in mothering.

I have been child, and girl and mother, passions all.

(Matron?  Pretentious and superfluous.)

Grandmother, I hold the future rocking in my lap,

nested in endless laps of lineage.

I can’t escape these archetypes.

I have been queen in my own home and garden.

But somewhere deep inside me is a desert.

I thirst for something I have missed.

I’m an old ghost. 

Where will I find a home

if all I want to do is run away?

© Tamara Rasmussen 2018